Savage Love

Last night, while eating pizza at Big Mario's (surprisingly good and the closest to NY pizza I've found out here), I saw Dan Savage. I gave him some grated cheese for his pizza that he was looking for. He said "Oh, thanks." That was all. I didn't geek out and say hi or something dumb like "hey you're Dan Savage" (I'm pretty sure he knows who he is). But, to me, he is somewhat of a celebrity, so it was exciting.

Yay Seattle! Also, please check out the It Gets Better Project, created by Savage, contributed to by many, appreciated by so many more.

Animal Crackers

I really love animal crackers. They are delicious. They also have a surprising amount of protein (4g/box) and calcium (20% DV/box). Just to be clear, I'm talking about the REAL animal crackers, the ones in the little red box with the string (the Barnum's Animal Crackers, not the other ghetto crap you buy in a giant tub).

Fig. 1. The real deal (not to be confused with a box of real animals).

I also have very fond memories attached to animal crackers. And I don't mean something like when I was 5 and my grandparents always had animal crackers for me, nothing lame like that. One time in high school (not band camp), my good friend and I wandered into a CVS late one night and decided to buy all of what was left of the animal crackers in the store. It was the first and only time I've ever bought everything of anything in a store. And believe you me, we ate them all. ....Ok, maybe still lame, but it was exciting at the time.

I have noticed, however, that many of these crackers are in the shape of animals that really don't belong in the circus. Barnum is famous for his circuses and the box leads you to believe that this is what you're getting. But sheep in the circus? Really Barnum? I mean, I know it's been a long time since I've been to the circus, but how lame that would be to have sheep there. And what is a poor child to do now when they go to the circus expecting to see sheep. Camels? I guess they're debatable. Spitting animals could be entertaining for some. The elephants and bears make sense, even the gorillas, but I think you need some help on re-learning which animals actually make an appearance under the big top. On occasion, I'll also find this unidentifiable animal, one I used to refer to as "the shaggy dog," for lack of a better guess. Perhaps this is one of the carny's dogs that come along on the circus tour.

Maybe we can suggest some animal changes to Barnum. Any thoughts?

In other news, the lab is boring/frustrating/a black hole of misery these days. I'm hoping the lab gods remember our saluting them and they continue to bestow their blessings on me... maybe they are just on vacation or a vengeful streak.

Fig 2. GlaDos from Portal

Eat, Sleep, and Breathe

The other day I was walking home from my usual bus stop after a wonderfully long day of sitting in the little dark microscope box room and had to do a double-take at the graffiti on the floor. I immediately thought "oh, look, a neuron!" Regardless of  its multiple (beautiful) dendrites, it was, in fact, not a neuron. On second look, I don't think it was even an intentional graffiti, merely a splatter of spray paint next to some inane tag.
This is not the first time this has happened. I see neurons on bumper stickers and glial cells in art work in restaurants. (Actually, I'm still pretty convinced that last one really was an abstract version of neural networks, but who knows). Am I obsessed? Maybe I'm more haunted by my work rather than obsessed. Perhaps, it's a nice unhealthy mixture of both. I suppose all good scientists are somewhat consumed by their work, that they see cell types in cloud formations, or mechanisms in their dreams.

Nevertheless, it reminds me how hopelessly geeky I am. But, never fear, little scientists, we are not alone. Tthe ever amusing author Mary Roach (author of 'Bonk,' 'Spook,' and 'Stiff' to name a few) speaks to this quite nicely in her intro to 'Bonk:'

"I am obsessed with my research, not by nature but serially: book by book and regardless of topic. All good research-- whether for science or for a book-- is a form of obsession. And obsession can be awkward. It can be downright embarrassing."

Halleloo!

Please excuse my extended absence. Apparently, I'm not very good at keeping this updated when things are going at "bat-shit crazy" speed. Here's a brief recap of what's been going on in my life since February:

1. SOT was awesome! How great it is to see this expansive world of science and toxicology outside of this hole I live in, here in the lab. It is so easy to forget why I am putting myself through all this; seeing all this other research and successful professionals really excites me. I was totally nerding out over things like new methodology and mechanisms in neurotox, but I also was cherishing the connections I was able to make. In any event, drinking and going out to jazz clubs with various professors didn't hurt either. Perhaps by simply incorporating people from industry and government into the mix, the science world was given a personality and a human-ness that's severely lacking from my within academia.

2. Peru was, as expected, fantastic. I really can't complain about sunny, 85F weather. It was super relaxing, spent time on the beach and ate a lot. The wedding was great-- a lot of fun, beautiful ceremony at sunset over the water... as you can imagine, it was incredibly difficult to return to rain and lab-slave life.

3. Girlfriend and I also found out the sex of the baby (due in the beginning of August)-- it's a girl! Really amazing, and scary at the same time. Girlfriend is already worrying about her getting pregnant. I'm still worried about changing the diapers. Hmm...

Fig. 1. Baby Girl at 20 weeks. She has fingers and hands and a nose! Yeah!

4. Lastly, things in the lab have actually started to turn around!!.... !!! I am slightly hesistant to really celebrate just yet because I still am only half believing it to be true. I am sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to go horribly wrong.... I'm pretty sure that won't happen, but really, I have no idea what to expect with my work. I can't tell you what exactly changed, but the experiment I had been doing with little success has finally worked. In addition, the results are showing surprisingly drastic differences between my treatments and controls! To that, I simply have to say, Halleloo! (Please refer to Figure 2 if this saying eludes you).

Fig. 2. Shangela from RuPaul's Drag Race on LOGO. Halleloo!

If you haven't already, please watch RuPaul's Drag Race for some pure entertainment in the form of America's Next Top Drag Superstar. These chicas are sexy. Til next time, 'echa pa'lante.'

Grad School Made Me Blind

I want someone to do a study (or, actually, several studies) on grad students working in labs. Here are some ideas so far::

1. Repetitive Stress: No, I'm not referring to the chronic stress from advisor expectations or the constant disappointments. The ergonomics peeps should study repetitive stress due to pipette use, or overuse as the case may be. It's a legitimate problem I worry about.




Fig. 1. The scariest looking lab worker pipetting something colorful (generally not the case).


2.  Blindness: I'm pretty sure that sitting in a dark room for hours staring into a microscope, scanning for and taking pictures of fluorescent-glowing cells is likely going to cause long-term damage to my perfect vision. Prospective cohort?

Fig. 2. Approximate size of and light availble in the room containing the microscope.

         3. General measures of sanity. I think this might actually be ongoing in certain departments-- the attempt to monitor stress and its effects on certain health outcomes. I believe one was related to cancer, actually... Imagine that headline when the study reaches mainstream media-- "Scientists say, Grad school gives you cancer!"

In Better News

Because my last post was oh so uplifting, I thought I should put a quick new note to state that things are not as miserable as they seemed last week.

The microscope is up and running..good enough for me to use but still with issues, so I'll tread lightly. I'm still in the process of optimizing this new assay, but I am hopeful. Aside from the 12-hour time point deal, it's a fairly simple and easy assay for which I can store my samples and do it as I please. Flexibility is always nice.

As for new data, the results from the latest experiment were a bit different than what I had previously seen (of course). The need to potentially switch directions on my project is still to be determined. Let's all cross our fingers that this doesn't have to happen.

In other news, Girlfriend is pregnant! I'm pretty sure anyone who actually reads this knows this by now, but as this blog follows my life both in and out of grad school, I think this is a relevant and important detail. Now the goal is to do my oral exam before mid-August or else I'll be competing with a newborn for prep time. Eeek! :)

Fig. 1. My reaction to Girlfriend being pregnant. Or, future baby.

Speaking to that end, in more good news, I have officially formed my disertation committee. Yay! Now I just need the data and I can make some progress.... 'Till next time.

...Annnnd We're Back.

I've been back from my Christmas break for a couple weeks now and have been trying to hit the ground running in high gear, with an optimistic attitude towards my work. At least, that was the initial intent. I know exactly what needs to get done between now and the beginning of March (primarily in preparation for the annual Society of Toxicology meeting-- in DC this year!), and I'm trying, desperately, to start moving on those things. Of course, like always (it seems), no matter how hard I try to be proactive, forward thinking, and prepared, things NEVER seem to work like they are supposed to. And please, spare me the "metaphor for life" because this is not life-- it's Science! It's SUPPOSED to be a controlled environment where you can manipulate variables for scientific purposes. Liars.

Read: Despondent: adj, de·spon·dent [ di spóndənt ]

1. Extremely unhappy and discouraged

*Warning* Lab ranting ahead::: 
So far, the microscope I use to photograph and thus analyze all of my cells for the most important part of my project, is broken. The guy in charge cannot figure it out and it has since been 'sent out' to be repaired. Trying to stay ahead of the game, I decided to find another way to get my work done. So, I found another micrscope center to use, was trained to use it, and now... am waiting to simply be put on a list in order to sign up to use said microscope... I cannot tell you how frustrating this is.

I've also started a new assay for a different aspect of my project, one that promises to be more consistent and reliable than the dreaded ROS assay. The downside is it invovles a 12-hour treatment, which there is really no good way to go about. I was in the lab around 8:30pm last night making a buffer, and even such a seemingly simple task-- putting different things together in a tube-- somehow failed. A particularly pesky reagent (SDS) failed to dissolve appropriately once combined with other stuff. After some failed attempts to change the pH, I remade a simplified version of the buffer and had some success. Overall, I'm pretty sure the buffer was not good and the samples will likely be a waste. But, at 11pm, you stop caring about such things, and you just go home.

Now, with that said, I am still, somehow, trying to be optimistic about this being a better, more productive year in the lab. Mostly because it just has to be. I'm in a sink-or-swim type of stage in my career here. Or, at least, that's the way I see it. This goes beyond the semi-unrealistic expectations of my advisor and well into my own expectations for myself... expectations I am currently not meeting. And that is what is truly depressing.